Tell Her I'm Sorry
by Dearing
Summary: SeedWing Crossover. He heard Kira's last words. He promised he'd fulfil them. He became closer to her then he intended. Heero YuyMiri pairing. Rating for sexual tones towards then end. A unused plotline for another fic in the works.


**READ THIS FIRST!!!**

Otherwise, this won't make any sense.  
First, you'll have to forgive me if I sound a bit strange while writing this intro. It's just gone half past ten and i'm half asleep, but I really want to upload this before I go to bed.  
Alright. For a while now I've been working on a sort of Seed/Wing crossover fic called Path of the Wing (Yes, I know, it's a lame title. I'm working on it okay?) Well, I say crossover, really it's more of a "What would happen if I took Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing and made him the main character of Gundam Seed?"  
...  
Yeah...it's sounds strange I know, but I think about these things (I also wonder why the creators went Luke/Leia on Kira and Cagalli.)  
Anyway, I've got numourous plotlines assosiated with this fic running around my head, the biggest one being who (If any) of the Seed girls should I pair up with Heero?  
So far, I've got it narrowed down to Lacus, Cagalli and Miriallia (Cue collective gasps from KiraxLacus, CagallixAthrun and MirixDearka fans...and any other fans of pairings involving these three girls), but I'm still not sure, and as such the girl of choice usually varies from week to week.  
This week, Miri's at the bottom of my list (It's nothing personal against her, I just saw Phase 22 yesterday and I'm pro Cagalli at the moment), but this plot bunny refused to go away until I wrote it down.

So anyway, the basic plot so far is Heero and the Wing Zero (Rebuilt by Zechs for emergencies only) is sucked into the Cosmic Era alternate universe while collapsing a space phenomenon that threatens the colonies (Said phenomenon shows other realites and blows up anything in it touches. It's kinda strange, but it's the only thing I could think of). He's found by Lacus, saves her during the incident at Junius Seven and basically follows the plot of Gundam Seed...all the time wearing a Zaft redcoat even though he fight mostly with the Archangel crew.(Why? Dunno. I just like that uniform. I haven't thought up a good reason, but I just love that uniform so much!)  
Anyway, to cut a long story short, everything is basically the same (Plus a extra and his Gundanium gundam) until Phase 30 where Athrun locks the Aegis over the Strike's Cockpit door, trapping poor Kira inside. Yes, I _might_ kill Kira in this fic. It's not certain at the moment, but it's possible he might, and at the same time it's possible he might not.  
but for this partiular plot bunny, Kira has to die, and Heero takes his place in finding himself in the care of Lacus.

Anyway, this short fic takes place when Heero returns with the Freedom to the Archangel and...well...read it and find out.

Rating is for sexual tones towards the end. It's nothing really explicit, but it's there.

If you could read and review, I'd really appreciate it. This is my first Gundam fic, and anything positive or just constructive critisium will be helpful in writing Path of the Wing. No flames though.

Alright, I've talked for long enough. Obviously I don't own Gundam Seed, or Gundam Wing, or anything assosiated to the Gundam Franchise (AS much as I'd like too).

Hope you like it.

Dearing

* * *

**TELL HER I'M SORRY**

"_Keep her safe Heero! Promise me you'll keep Miriallia and the others safe!"_

"_I…"_

"_And…Tell her I'm sorry,"_

Those had been his final words. He had had barely any time to merely nod, before his relieved smiling face dissolving into static as the Aegis exploded, darkness taking over Heero Yuy moments later, the face of Lacus Cylne the next thing he remembered.

And now here he was.

Once more he stood in the pristine white corridors of the Archangel, looking starkly out of place in his crimson Zaft uniform, standing outside the quarters (or rather bunk) of one Miriallia Haw, determined to pass one that last request, so he could at least purge some of that message from his mind.

He had searched the entire ship for her, checked everywhere she should be, asked every crewmen who knew her, but she wasn't anywhere to be found, and none of the crew had seen her.

Which just left her quarters.

So now here he stood, hands clasped behind his back in the small niche between corridors, standing beside the only buck which had it's slide pulled across it.

He paused only for a moment, before rapping calmly and efficiently against the plastic divider.

He was surprised to find her still fully clothed in uniform as she snapped the partition back, her pale blue eyes meeting his own with minor agitation.

"Oh, it's you," she pushed the divider back fully with her foot, swinging her slender legs over the side as she smoothed down her tunic, "I heard you'd come back. The only one. It that true?"

"Yes," he spoke with his usual monotonous demur, his eyes never leaving her as she rose slowly as she straightened herself out, "I tried to help Kira and Koenig but…I couldn't reach them,"

"I'm sure you did," the orange haired girl didn't seem sincere as she glanced down at his uniform, before looking up to meet his Prussian blues, "So…what can I do for you?"

Heero paused, his eyes closing for a moment to gather his thoughts. When he opened them, he swore he thought her shiver slightly.

"I couldn't reach Toll Koenig," he spoke slowly, his eyes never leaving hers, "His death was…quick. I tried to stop it granted but…"

"Mr. Yuy," he faltered at the iciness of her voice, "If you came down here to tell me how my boyfriend died, then I think you should leave, before you get hurt,"

He stopped for a moment, just a moment, to revaluate his approach.

"I managed to get through to Kira before he died. I tried to save him, but the Aegis' arms…they were locked to tightly around the cockpit door. I managed to get a transmission through to him though. He gave me a message. More of a request,"

"And?" he looked expectant, if somewhat fearful, "What did he say?"

"He…he asked me to keep you and your friends safe. And…" he paused, not completely sure of how she was going to take it, "And he wanted you to know…he's sorry,"

Her eyes widened as he finished his sentence, her feet taking a few steps back from him as a hand came to her mouth.

"That's…that's it?"

"You were expecting more?"

"No!" her features hardened, her eyes narrowing to slits as the hand fell away, "I wasn't expecting anything but…what does he mean he's sorry?"

"I think I know the answer," his voice sounded hushed in his throat, "But I don't think you're going to like it,"

"What do you mean I won't like it?"

"I'm not a romantic," her eyebrows hiked up at the surprised beginning, "I don't pretend to be. I wasn't in my universe, and I'm not here. But I notice things. I notice small wistful glances and soft smiles. I notice glances and forced pleasantry. I notice tension, and a sense of longing,"

"What are you trying to say?" her voice was barely a whisper, as though she knew what he was about to say.

"I didn't know Kira very well," he continued on as though he hadn't heard her, "But I knew him well enough. I knew him well enough to see he loved you, more then he thought he should. But he kept his distance. He saw how happy you were with Koenig, and couldn't bare to make you unhappy if he tried to break you up, much less the thought of how it would affect his friendship to Tolle. So he kept quiet. But I tell you now, with no hint of hesitation, that I truly believe he loved you. That you were his driving force. Not Allster, not Lacus, only you. And I think the only thing he was sorry for…was not telling you how he felt,"

Silence met this little speech, the two young adults staring at each other hard, Heero ever passive and calm, Miriallia trying her hardest to do the same.

Then she slapped him.

Hard.

He felt his neck ach as his head was forced violently to the right, his cheek burning as he resisted his urge to retaliate in a similar manner. He simply inclined his head to it's original position, his eyes widening slightly at the sight of the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You selfish unfeeling bastard!" she spat, "How…how dare you even think up a suggestion. I already lost my boyfriend…he meant everything to me! And now you're telling me Kira…Kira _loved_ me? How can you say that? How can you punish me further? First you survive when neither of the two men I held most dear did, and now you say my best friend…was actually in love with me? Do you have any idea what it's like? Knowing that kind of information? Knowing you'll never be able to talk it out with them? Knowing you'll never see them again? How can you just stand there?"

"I told you I didn't think you'd like it,"  
That earned him another slap.

"They're dead," her voice was a icy whisper, "They're both dead. I will never see them again. Do you have any idea what that's like? Knowing you'll never see someone again? And now…now I have to live the rest of my life knowing I gave my best friend a heart ache…because I was blind,"

She ran before he could say another word. Away from him, her sobs carrying down the corridor back to him as he just stood there, his Prussian blues staring at where she had been but moments before, a silent string of curses running through his mind.

(…)

He couldn't sleep.

He didn't want too.

He hadn't even changed out of his uniform.

He just sat there, in the darkened quarters he and Lacus had shared the first time they'd come to this infernal ship, a part of him glad it was so far away from the rest of the crew quarters.

No one had gotten in his way as he almost stormed back here, not even La Flaga, to whom he had snapped he didn't want to be disturbed for the rest of the night. All he could think about was Miriallia Haw, and how she hated him right now.

He had been so foolish. He should of just stopped talking. But he hadn't. It had always been a bad habit, and now he had the bruise across the side of his face to prove it.

He wasn't completely angry with himself however. He was angry at her too for making presumptions. Ones he'd of gladly ratified had she stuck around, but it was too late for that now. He doubted if he'd ever see her again off duty.

He would never be able to keep his promise.

How wrong he was.

He didn't hear the door groan open. Neither did he hear her lock the door, or her tentative footsteps as she crossed the floor to him. It was only when she stopped directly in front of him did he realise she stood before him.

He doubted he'd ever seen a woman with so many emotions running through her features. Anger, regret, sadness and a general sense of uneasiness radiated from Miriallia Haw as he gazed up at her, and it was a full minute before she finally spoke.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," she spoke formally, like she did when they spoke during battle, "It was rude of me. I…overreacted,"

A quick glance at the door behind her hips caused his eyebrows to hike up as he stood up.

"You locked the door,"

"I wanted to make sure you didn't go anywhere," she seemed slightly offended that he hadn't accepted her apology, "I didn't want you to just throw me out before I could say anything,"

"I see," They were close, he realised. Closer then before. She had stopped almost toe to toe with him while he had been sitting down, and now she had to tilt her head up in order to look at him properly.

"That's it?" she scowled, "Just…I see? Are you going to accept my apology or what?"

He didn't reply. He just continued to stare into her light blue eyes, only waiting until she started to shift as she realised how close the two of them were before answering.

"I'm just glad you didn't come at me with a knife,"

A small smile crept onto his lips as she her cheeks were stained red with flush, her wide eyes following him to the desk as he pulled out the chair from underneath, "You heard about that?"

"It's a small ship," He settled down in the chair, steeping his fingers on the desk as he gazed at the wall opposite, intensely aware she was till staring at the back of his head, "You've made you're apology, I've accepted. Is there anything else?"

He heard her footsteps come up beside him, a hand and pink clad arm coming down on his right, closest to the bulkhead that separated the room from the corridor, causing him to look up into her fierce eyes once more.

"Did you mean what you said?" it was clear what she asked about, but she clarified anyway, "Do you really think Kira…"  
"Yes,"

"Why? More importantly how? How can you possibly know Kira loved me?"

"Because Miss Haw," he rose slowly from his seat, watching with a grim satisfaction at how she flinched slightly at her glare, "He is not the only person in any universe who has loved and never reacted on his feelings,"

Her eyes widened with realisation, "It's you. You know how Kira felt about me because you've experienced something like it before, haven't you?"

He turned away from her, his fingers clenched into a fist as he headed slowly back to the bed up against the back wall, slowly sinking down onto it as he prepared himself for something he never thought he'd do.

Open up.

"Her name was Relena," he murmured, "A person of great political influence where I come from. When I first met her properly, she invited me to her birthday party," he chuckled darkly, "I…I tore up the invitation and…threatened to kill her. I was a different man back then," he caught her confused look, "Someone who had years of training to be the perfect soldier…to eliminate anything and anyone that stood in my way. But I changed. she changed me. And I fell in love with her. I think she fell in love with me…for a time anyway. But I think I changed too much. I became confused, so I didn't say anything. I kept quiet…I acted like Kira did around you,"

"What happened to her?" he felt the bed compress slightly as she came and sat down beside him, the warmth of her thigh against his causing a strange sensation to creep through his body, "Is she dead?"

"Far from it," he refused to meet her eyes, he continued to just stare at the door opposite, his hands clasped together in front of him, "She's alive and well, a whole other universe away," he turned to look at her his eyes narrowed, "You think you have it bad, knowing that your friends are dead and you'll never see them again? How do you think I feel, knowing my friends and those I love are alive and well, but I'll never see them again? Do you understand the agony _I've_ felt since I got here, knowing I can never return to my own universe? That they still live, as healthy as anything, and yet I'll never be able to reach out to them again?"

"Heero?" she frowned, as though hardly daring to believe it, "Are…are you crying?"

He turned away from her angrily, wiping his hand over his face, feeling surprise and disgust at the discovery of the salty moisture he discovered there.

How insulting. He had never cried. At least…not for a very long time.

"I don't even have her picture," he returned his gaze to the floor, "Everything I had from my universe was either lost with the Silverwind, or destroyed with the Wing. I have nothing left. I'm…alone,"

He felt surprise coursing though him as he watched her hands cover his, his blue orbs coming up to meet hers, the emotion rising in his chest to see once more they were filled with tears.

"I guess…that makes two of us,"

She wasn't sobbing, but she was clearly upset. She felt venerable he realised, something she refused to show in public. She always seemed so strong to him, even though from what members of the crew had told him about her attack on Dearka, she was only human.

As Relena had reminded him on so many occasions.

Hesitantly, he slowly removed her hands from his as he reached up to brush away the tears from her face, her eyes closing as she seemed to push in slightly into his palm, relishing the warmth as he cupped her cheek.

He felt himself close in slightly, his mind fogged as he felt that same wetness stain his own cheeks, something at the back of his brain cursing him for showing such weakness.

He discovered he didn't care.

Right now, all that mattered was the two of them, shrouded in the semi-darkness of the room, and a need that demanded to be fulfilled.

He kissed her.

It wasn't sweet an innocent, it wasn't passionate and sex driven. It was a just a kiss, a simple touching of lips between a man and woman.

That was how his mind rationalised it.

He felt her freeze slightly at his touch, but only for a moment.

A moment later, she gave in.

A hand slipped over his shoulder as he pulled her closer, the need in his chest screaming for more as the moment heated. One kiss became many kisses, fingers drunkenly fiddling with zips and belts as they shed each others clothing.

This wasn't love. They both knew this as they slipped under the covers. This was a pair of lonely souls, so desperately alone, clinging to each other blindly in a effort to fend off the forlorn feelings that plagued their minds, at least for a little while.

But they didn't care. They didn't care that they were on a military battleship in the middle of a war. They didn't care that only the pains of circumstance had brought them to this point in their lives. They didn't care that the two of them were probably going to regret their actions by morning.

They didn't care, that a part of them knew this wouldn't be a one night stand.

All they cared about right now was the need to quell the loneliness.

For now at least, nothing else mattered.

* * *

I hope that made sense, and I hoped you liked it. 

Again, reviews appreciated. I hope to start publishing Path of the Wing by the end of the summer, but I can't be certain at the moment.

See you around.


End file.
